Decisions Aren't Always Easy

After 17 years of raising my boys and staying home and/or working part time, I have decided to join the corporate work force again.  After retiring from my part time job in May, I thought I just wanted to stay home, relax, take care of the house, etc.  Staying home wasn't quite as much fun as I imagined it would be! Sure, if we were disgustingly wealthy, it could have been fun. Who wouldn't want to shop all day, have massages and pedicures! Well we aren't, and staying home wasn't all I thought it would be. Funny though, I think I was born to be a wife and mother. I'm good at it and I love it! But, now that the boys are almost grown, I have found myself not really needing to be home all the time. We have great kids and they are making their own path without much guidance required. 

The thought of having to dress up for work every day almost made me change my mind. I love my sweat pants in the winter and my swimsuits in the summer! Wear makeup everyday!?! Oh, that will take getting use to again! Time to ditch the sports bras, tshirts, pony tail holders, and stretchy pants. Hello high heels!  Time to shop for grown up clothes!

I plan to help save for Jake's college! Tyler was given a college education thanks to Brian's diligence to stay on budget.  It will feel great to offer financial help after all the years the burden was mostly on Brian.  I know the gifts I've given to my family are more than any monetary amount, but this too will feel good!  

It hasn't been easy accepting that the boys are all but grown now. They don't need me home 24/7. There are no more boo-boos to kiss, pb&js to make, toys to organize, play dates to schedule, taxiing to extracurricular activities, and a million other things.  It's almost as if my job is done, the contract is over, and the pink slip is inevitable. You're rewarded for a job well done, and what's left is a box of memory's.

Now, I know they STILL need me. I hope they always will. It's just different now. 

Dinner will not be on the table at 5 pm. The clothes that were worn yesterday won't be back in your drawers today. There probably won't be endless pizza rolls in the freezer and powerades in the refrigerator.  No time for daily inventory! 

But, change is often good, and I will embrace this new opportunity! We will all adjust and find a new normal. I thank God for seeing my heart and hearing my prayers, he knew what decision I should make even before I asked. 

I will be joining these wonderful ladies who make a great team! 

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Look who's 4!

Little miss Sophia turned 4 on 1/3/15!  We had the pleasure of attending her family birthday party at her "Honey's" house! Thank you, Kim for inviting us!  Tyler is her favorite cousin! We had such a great time! We don't get to see our Louisiana family very often! Happy Birthday Sophia! We love you!

Tyler and Sophia. She just loves him!

Sophia, Ross and me!

Shelby, Tyler and Sweet baby Ella!

Remembering Christmas ~ Welcoming the New Year

I just love the Christmas season! I can't wait to decorate the yard, the tree, and the house! It's a lot of work, but always fun! Christmas always seems to bring out the best in people.  Most seem happier, more polite, more tolerant, more giving. Remembering the birth of Jesus, our savior, is really why we celebrate.  One of my favorite traditions is making cookies! The one time a year the kitchen can be messy with flour everywhere and that's okay with me! We had a quiet Christmas this year, but a Christmas full of love and blessings! 

We also get to celebrate two birthdays in December. Mine on the 20th and Jake's on the 29th. I can't believe my baby is 16! Oh dear, Father Ćlock, slow down the time!

2014 wasn't the best year, but certainly wasn't the worse! I'm excited to see what God has planned for me and my family in 2015! Happy New Year!

The stockings are all hung by the chimney with care!

Traditional cookie factory! Steph, Jake and Jodi

Santa came!

I made this for Jake from his play, Korczak's Children

Mr. Muscles! Tyler

Brian's "go-to" pose

 Marlee loved her presents and the paper!

Mama got a new gel pillow! Ready for a nap!

Jake's 16th birthday, traditional donut cake!

Tyler and Shelby, New Years Eve

It's a Wonderful Life

This past weekend we enjoyed Jake's high school theatre production of It's a Wonderful Life. It was great and we always enjoy the shows! It was quite fitting that my brother and niece were here as well.  Spending a few days with Wade before he left to return to Afghanistan truly reminded me that life is precious and wonderful! 

I dropped him off at the airport and sobbed. Almost as bad as when I dropped my kids off at kindergarten! The older I get the more emotional I become. Maybe getting older makes you realize how important things are and provides a new perspective on this crazy thing we call Life!

A Wonderful Weekend in a Wonderful Life'

A star is born

A few weekends ago, as we gathered at our house for hotdogs and LSU football, someone special decided to join us! Jake Worthington! THE Jake Worthington! Don't know who he is? He's a local kid who made his debut on The Voice, mentored by Blake Shelton.  He was the 1st runner up! I love to hear him sing! He sounds like old country, we need new artists who love old country! 

He's a God fearing, good country boy, who loves his family and friends. He's down to earth and the sweetest kid! One day, when his name is known by every person in America, I will smile and say "He ate at my kitchen table"!

Korczak's Children

Jake was recently cast the lead role in his high school's fall play, Korczak's Children. The play was based on the life of a real man, Janus Korczak, during the holocost. Dr. Korczak ran an orphanage.  His children were his world. Thè kids went on a field trip to the holocost museum in Houston, to help them portray their characters. This story was heartbreaking, and honestly, very hard to watch. I was so impressed that the kids were able to pull off such a dramatic play, especially Jake. The orphanage was moved to the ghetto when the Germans invaded. Eventually, the orphanage was taken over by the nazis and Korczak and his children were sent to a concentration camp to face a sure death.  Korczak was given the opportunity to change his identity and leave, but he knew he needed to stay with his children and try to keep them from being afraid, although he knew their destiny.  I saw all 4 productions, and cried at them all.  The story in itself was enough to provoke tears, but to see my son cry on stage, taking his role to heart, was almost more than I could bare. Days later, I still tear up thinking about it. Here's a few pictures.

I hope my child truly never experiences the pain he felt while assuming the role of Dr. Janus Korczak. 

Sometimes it really sucks being a Boy Mom

My son.  From the minute he was born I was the #1 girl in his life. I fed him, swaddled him, rocked him. I was there when he took his first step, to catch him if he fell.  I was there for every sickness, every boo boo, every scrape on his tiny little knees.  I was there to hug him, reassure him, guide him, LOVE him, every minute, everyday.  I was the one he came to when he was hungry, sick, sad, and even happy! I was his #1 girl! I was there for every hardship, disappointment and every heartache.  I was there to help him succeed, console him when he failed, and encourage him to move on. He always came to me with every problem, every want, every need.  I was always his biggest fan.

Then, one day, a new girl came along.  She was his new #1.  I was quickly pushed into 2nd place.  I always knew that day would come, but I hadn't really prepared myself for it.  Does anyone?  I am no longer the person he comes to first.  I see him for brief moments, but can tell she's on his mind. I wash his clothes and wish I could see him in these clothes for more than a minute when he's heading out the door.  Heading out to be with her. I smell his clothes as I fold them fresh out of the dryer. They smell like him, my heart longs for my little boy. I often go to his room, sit on the edge of his bed and reminisce of days gone by.  I am so proud of the man he has become, but secretly wish he was still my little boy. My little boy comes with the assurance that I'm still his #1. 

Somehow, I find a way to accept being his #2. I don't like it. I'm jealous of the time he spends with her. I pray that she will love my son the way I do. I pray that she will hold his heart close and consider it fragile. I pray that she will bring out the best in my son, but love him regardless. Love him when he's unlovable. Love him when he's weak. Love him no matter what, love him the way I do.

Then one day, he figures out that perhaps she is not #1.  He comes back to me and we resume life with me being his #1.  Of course I'm always here with open arms. Ready and willing to resume my place in his life. All is right in my world once again. 

That is, until the new #1 comes into his life.  One day the right one will be the last one and I will permanently lose my #1 status.  Until then, I will love and cherish every moment I have with my son.  And when the last #1 comes into his life, maybe it will be easier to let him go.  Perhaps then I won't think of her as his new #1.  I hope she will be like the daughter I never had. I hope she will guard his heart and make him happy. I hope she will see all the love he has to give, and she will be strong where he is weak.  I hope she will respect his relationship with me, and learn to love me as well.

But, until then, I will continue to play the fip flop game of being 1st or 2nd. 

Oh, and if by chance he ever has a daughter, I'll gladly slide into 3rd position!