Giving it to God

It's 2:35 am on Sunday August 16th. Can't sleep. In a little over 24 hours we will be leaving for Dallas for my surgery on Tuesday. Tarlov Cysts is something I never knew about and now I wish I still don't know about. This disease has taken too much of my life away from me. I pray the surgery will eventually restore the life I once knew. I'm tired of being in pain. Tired of being in the bed. Tired of spending what little bit of energy I have worrying about this disease. 

I'm anxious for many reasons. Anxious of the surgery itself. Will it work? Will I wake up? Will it make my life worse?  Will the recovery be worse than the disease? Will the boys be ok while I'm gone? Did we take care of everything? 

So many questions. My mind is rambling. I guess I'll know these answers soon enough. 

Dear God, please hear my prayers. I ask you to watch over me and heal me as only you can. I ask that you give the doctors and nurses the wisdom to make my surgery a success. Please take care of my boys, let them not worry. Be with Brian, too, dear Lord. He's a good husband. Take the weight from his shoulders and give him peace. Watch over us as we travel to Dallas. I ask you give me the calm I need to endure this surgery and its recovery. I ask these things in your name, not because I'm worthy, but because I know you love me. 

Amen.