When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters a table leg breaks or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart when it drops it's completely silent. Seems like you would or should hear a thousand bells ringing.
The first (although I am sure there were some I just don't remember) was when my Mom had to have lung surgery. The doctors didn't know what they were dealing with, and it was scary. The tumor was the size of a small football. It was benign, and she recovered. The thought of losing my Mom was terrifying, little did I know it would be only about 15 years later when I would lose her.
In labor with Tyler, the nurse couldn't find his heartbeat, my blood pressure was high, so an emergency C section was done. I was terrified. Was my baby okay, would I die on the table? We both were fine, and he was perfect!
Pregnant with our second child. I didn't even know I was pregnant, but felt sick. A weird sickness I couldn't put my finger on. Started bleeding, wasn't that time, so I knew something was wrong. Home pregnancy test was positive, off to the ER I went. Our precious baby didn't make it, someone in Heaven needed a baby to hold and love. People have miscarriages all the time. Some people don't even know they've miscarried. I knew, deep in my heart, my baby wasn't going to make it. It didn't make the pain any less. I grieved for my unborn child. I wondered if something I had done made me miscarry. Three short months later, Jake was conceived!
Speaking of Jake being conceived, my whole pregnancy was heart dropping moments. It was a difficult pregnancy, spent more time in the hospital than not. Many times I wondered if he'd make it. Praying for my baby to have a chance at life. God answered, he was perfect!
Mervyn's department store. (remember Mervyn's?) Tyler, about 6 years old, thought it would be funny to hide in a rack of clothes. I panicked, called his name, started crying. Security was being called. Heart was no where to be found in my body. He was in big trouble when the game he thought he was playing ended!!
The night I got the call that my Mom was being transferred from one hospital to another due to an unknown critical condition. Heart fell and took months for it to start to rise again. She had a brain aneurysm, her work here on earth was done. Heaven gained an angel! I often dreamt of her rocking my unborn child.
Beach day. What was suppose to be a nice, relaxing day, with friends at the beach turned into a nightmare, a heart dropping moment I still have nightmares about. One month after Mom died, we headed to the beach to relax. So many people, kids, umbrellas, tents, canopies, chairs, cooler, and toys, the beach was over crowded. In the blink of an eye, Jake (3) disappeared. I wasn't worried about him drowning, he had an all in one swimsuit life preserver on. My worst fear, someone took my baby. He couldn't find me in the array of chaos, and we couldn't find him. I was begging, screaming, pleading, for someone to find my little boy with green ear plugs in his ears. I called 911, the sheriff's beach patrol started looking. He was found a mile down the beach. He kept walking looking for me. I don't know if I've ever cried so hard. It took a long time for us to go back to the beach again.
I'm sure there have been many more of these moments, but those are the ones that stick out in my mind the most. There will also probably be more of those moments to come. But, as an optimist, I'm sure glad I have a heart, and if it has to "drop" every once in a while, I'll just pick it up and go on!
