I remember. I remember the day like it was yesterday. January 10, 1998. The day I lost my unborn child. We had been trying to get pregnant for a while. I wasn't feeling well right after Christmas, but couldn't figure out what was ailing me. I was at work this day. I began bleeding, but it was different than a normal cycle. I felt sick at my stomach, weak, and just knew something wasn't right. I left work, bought a pregnancy test, went home and the test said positive. I was excited and horrified all in the same moment. I was pregnant, but something was terribly wrong. I called my doctor, went to the ER as instructed, and was told they couldn't find a heartbeat. NO, no, not my baby. The baby we had been trying for. The baby we so wanted. What did I do? Did I take any meds I shouldn't have? Did the hustle and bustle of the holidays and lifting heavy items cause this? So many questions and no one to answer them. I stayed overnight in the hospital. I left the next day and although I'd only known my precious unborn baby existed for a short time, I felt empty. I was sad beyond belief. I grieved for my unborn child. I wondered what he or she would have been like, looked like, smelled like. I grieved for our family, our little family of three. Tyler was 6 and too young to understand. He just thought mommy was sick. We picked up the pieces of our broken hearts and mended them the best we could. Life must go on. I knew my baby was in Heaven, and we will meet someday. I trusted God to take care of my child and prayed for another child for our family. 4 months later, we found out we were pregnant with Jake. Although he completed our family, I have never forgotten my unborn child. The love of a Mother will never sway and will always stand firm.
Until We Meet one day in Heaven,
Rest in Peace
My Sweet Angel.
